Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease a 13 x 9-inch baking dish with butter and line with unbleached parchment paper. Or if you want these to be thicker, use an 11-inch or 10-inch round skillet or baking dish.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter, sugars, and nut butter until fluffy and creamy, about 2-3 minutes. (You can use a hand mixer too)
Add the eggs and vanilla and mix to combine.
Add both oats, flax meal, baking soda, and salt and mix together. It will be a stiff sticky mixture.
Add your desired combination of chocolate chips, nuts, dried fruit, and coconut and mix until just combined.
Transfer batter to the prepared baking dish and spread out with a spatula or wooden spoon. Sprinkle with flaky sea salt, if you like. Let the batter sit for 5-10 minutes before baking so the oats soften up a little. Bake in the oven for 17 minutes until the batter has slightly puffed but is still soft to the touch. You want this to be slightly underdone. Remove from the oven and cool for at least 1 hour before cutting into bars. They will firm up as they cool. They are fine at room temp, but I store them in the fridge so they last longer.